Day 26 ~ I can fight the truth no longer.

67 days after the epiphany that changed the course of my life far far away from the Emerald Isles and 22 days after I said goodbye forever, letting go of the hope (that he insisted) I perpetuate until the moment that he decided he didn’t want that life any more and I’m finally hitting the point of no return. I knew the time would come when I’d finally remember everything that was so wrong and try to regain everything about myself that was right.

I’m not fully there yet but I’m going to take each of the remaining 104 days, 25 minutes remaining of this current health and life experiment to heal and to refine the person that I am. At the end of this time, I am going to cast aside the shell I’ve now built to protect my core. I will celebrate and will begin my new life standing on the deck of the San Francisco Belle watching fireworks, drinking champagne and silently toasting the arrival of 2008 and the start of my new life.

It is in this spirit that I purge the last remnants’ of grief from my soul (with the assistance of Mika):

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life
Can't get no love without sacrifice
If anything should happen, I guess I wish you well
A little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, no love, no glory,
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'And I'm wastin' everyday
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

2 o'clock in the morning, something's on my mind
Can't get no rest; keep walkin' around
If I pretend that nothin' ever went wrong, I can get to my sleep
I can think that we just carried on

This is the hardest story that I've ever told
No hope, or love, or glory
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday

This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.

This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together.

A Little bit of love, little bit of love
Little bit of love, little bit of love [repeat]

I feel as if I feel as if I'm wastin'
And I'm wastin' everyday
This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
To live the rest of our life,
But not together.

Be weary of people who promise they can change….

Today, I will admit to being weary of trusting the words of any person promising they can change. My bitter thought (which has yet to be proven wrong) is; people cannot change what’s in their core.
They may sometimes recoat it to be more appealing, but the person they are deep on the inside doesn’t alter or change no matter what kind of metamorphosis they may think they’ve undergone.

Of course I reserve the right to change my mind later… ;)