Tis the Season to Dwell...

So getting dumped is hard. Getting dumped by someone you believed was your soul mate is worse. I am so angry and really wish I wasn’t, because frankly I don’t like the person I become when I’m this hurt. It feels wrong somehow; like I’m a character in a play and I don’t know any of my lines. I have decided to embrace this grieving period as a chance to wallow in the sorrow of losing someone who was important to me. This is the first time in my entire life that I have had to cut someone out of my life completely and irrevocably (as a self-preservation tactic). I wrote my last post out of the pure anger at a situation that (simply put) sucks. Today I’m taking the time to close out the chapter in my life where I knew this person. I am methodologically removing his presence as a way to cope with the fact that I need to not think about him for a very very long time. It may be the ostrich approach and not a very mature one. But in the 27 years I’ve had on this planet I have always tried to be understanding & compassionate to what others are feeling and how they are doing. This weekend is just for me. I am going to be ruthlessly greedy and do and say things that I feel without mincing words. I am going to take this opportunity to exorcise his spirit from my life. By Monday, I will have finished writing down every thought and memory and moment that I had with him. I will take these pages that I am working on and I will seal them in an envelope to not be opened until I can think of him without this extreme level of sadness, betrayal and grief. Hopefully then I can look back on the few moments I had with him that were good.
The songs getting me through this period are:
I will survive – Cake’s version
Black – Pearl Jam
Crazy – Patsy Cline
The Dance – Garth Brooks
Ex-Girlfriend – No Doubt
I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five
Stronger – Brittney Spears
Tainted Love – Soft Cell
The Unforgettable Fire – U2
Don't Come Around Here No More – Tom Petty
You Oughta Know – Alanis Morissette

I know not a very rational list, but it’s helping :)