I interrupt your viewing pleasure with this moment of lunatic punditry

So in my job I receive a lot of correspondence from International Companies. I usually rely on Babel fish translation as a means to understand what the question is and what the person needs from me.

Today my translation from Korean to English yielded me this gem:

“How are you. It is an ammonium sulfate B. ^ It is contacted just now in the most yearly good Sea the bedspread. The Alliance it says that the registration card Fax sample which it publishes from the nation of the Alliance is necessary. (In example hold our company it is cotton business owner registration card.) After being possible, until week Monday entrusting it gives. If until Hog Monday it is impossible and by morning it receives Tuesday and certainly it does. It says that cannot receive the registration card the case remittance is cancelled. The case which it will receive until Monday in Yoo rim Sea the staring nine bedspread, The case which it will receive until Monday in Yoo rim Sea the staring nine bedspread, which it will receive Tuesday when it is given to me. Be like that good one day. ^ Ammonium sulfate or streamer.”

Now because it starts with a simple question How are you, it set’s the expectation that the rest of the translation will be somewhat reasonable. A thought that immediately goes out the window when the person advises you, oh it’s me ammonium sulfate B. ^. After that the gibberish just gets funnier…. Climaxing with what I can only assume is a dire warning to be good or risk turning into either Ammonium sulfate or a streamer.

Upon deep discussion with D, I am now of the impression this wasn’t simply a missive which was poorly translated but a surrealist piece of art worthy of sharing to all. Even at the risk that cults will rise out to celebrate on all Hog Monday or that the great Yoo rim Sea the staring nine bedspread is always watching.